Random Updates

Life has sure been busy this year! I don't think I've had a dull day go by yet. It's summer but I'm still in school. I started last week. I am finishing up my last quarter at WWU (the Lord willing of course). I will be done July 30 and graduation is August 21st. I'm not sure if I'll do the graduation. It's a little bit of money and I'm thinking I should do it but I don't know anyone else graduating in Summer quarter. I don't know a lot of people at WWU and the ones I do know are either graduated or aren't graduating until Fall or Winter quarter of 2010/2011. Unfortunately, summer quarter is way more expensive than I thought it would be. Because of 1 extra credit I need to graduate, it's nearly double the price of 5 credits. I don't exactly know where the money is going to come from. I am praying about it and am trusting God to provide. I still don't know about grad school. If I go, I'd have to move about 2.5 hours south of where I am, around Seattle area for over 2 years. I can see a lot of good that could come out of it and I can also see that maybe God wants me to do something else. I am praying a LOT! :) I have no answers right now but God's really been dealing with me on trusting Him. I've had a lot of victories lately! Its been awesome. :) God is totally awesome. God is good, ALL the time!

So, school is about over, my life is about to change big time, I think, maybe. :) Camp is coming up soon! I'm quite excited about that! Bro. Ron Spencer is the special speaker. I'm expecting amazing things. Our services lately have been amazing as well. God's been proving over and over how much He cares about us and how much He provides for us.

I've been going to the Rec center at school in the morning before my afternoon class and even though I'm tired and don't exactly enjoy getting up so early, I always feel a lot better the rest of the day. I've been listening to Messages during that time and I love it. If only I could have afternoon classes every quarter! I'm starting volunteering at the hospital again for 1 credit and will be a bit busier at least 1 or 2 days a week. I am in need of more $$. I applied for a part-time position at my current work, another position, but didn't get it. It probably would have been more than I could have handled though. I have another one I'm looking into so we'll see how it goes. I'm not really sure what I'd do if I don't go to school in the fall. I could possibly take some classes at the community college and reapply to go next year but I don't know if I should. I've prayed that God would give me a very obvious sign whether or not I should go to grad school and finish up with OT or do something else. So far, there are too many loopholes in everything for me to tell for sure. I love helping people, especially children, and I love health care, but not necessarily nursing. Teaching is not for me, although I've considered it. So, I'm at a loss. Very dependent on God right now. It's nice but scary for me because I like being in control. I like to know exactly what's going to happen and I like to plan everything out. My summer class I'm taking is Intro to Abnormal Psychology. It's interesting. We took a test today in class to see how anal we are. I scored pretty high; 85% of the population of people my age scored much lower than I did. But, this is how God teaches us patience and trust.

That was long. Not a lot of info but it was time for an update. I have a test Thursday and need to read and study. Also, I need sleep! I was up at camp from Thursday-Sunday helping out with a camp and I'm quite tired. So much for the long, lazy days of summer...

Call Me Gone

I really enjoy Southern Gospel music and I've been listening to a lot of old groups singing old songs. I love those the best. One song I've had stuck in my head a lot lately is this one, Call Me Gone. I've linked to the song on youtube. Ignore the awful hair and clothes, it is quite dated. :) Hope you enjoy as much as I have been!

Call Me Gone

Call me a dreamer
Call I call it mine
Heaven, but I don't care
And call me crazy
Cause I'm homesick for it
Yet I have never been there
Call me a stranger
Cause that's all I am, I know I don't belong
Call me anything but when He calls me
Call me gone

(chorus)
Call me gone, I'll be leavin'
Call me gone, you'll be grievin'
If you're left here without Jesus to call on
Call me gone, no more heartache
Call me gone, and all that it takes
As for me to hear Him call me then call me gone

(This verse is to be spoken)
You know I've been called an awful lot of things in my lifetime
And to be honest smart wasn't always one of them
But thank God I was smart enough one day to call Jesus Christ the Lord of my life
And it was then I called it quits to a whole lot of sinnin'
But it's because of that commitment that a lot of people laugh at me and call me foolish
Aw.. but let em go ahead and laugh...
That don't bother me at all, cause any fool can see,
but the shape she's in that this ole worlds gonna fall,
But just as long as I know Jesus, I've got nothing to fear
And when the role is called up yonder,
Don't you call on me cause I ain't gonna be here!

(repeat chorus)

Wounded Soldier

I don't know if you've ever heard this song before but it's been a huge blessing to me.

Wounded Soldier

You went out to the front lines

Committed to the cause

You fought the fight of faith

You truly gave your all

But now you lie there wounded

With a bleeding heart

You cry for help but help just seems so far

And you wonder where the other soldiers are

I am coming for you, Wounded Soldier,

And I will gently carry you upon my shoulder

I will give you time to mend,

Until you can fight again

There’s no need to fear

I am right here, Wounded Soldier

Sometimes our greatest battles

Are fought within our soul

No one sees your struggles

‘Cause you wont let it show

But you’re the walking wounded

Pretending to be strong

When deep inside you’re barely hanging on

And it’s hard to find the courage to go on

I've always really liked it and always thought of so many other people it applied to until this week, I realized it applied to me.

Somewhere along the road, a few months ago, I got wounded and have been laying on the battlefield, so to speak, dazed and confused.

I've been looking around, wondering where everyone is, struggling to get up and every time, get knocked back down. I felt like giving up. I know I'm Christian, but it's so hard and I'm so busy...

I was confused, scared, but I don't think it ever showed. I do a great job of hiding it. I didn't even really realize I was wounded, or at least, I didn't admit it.

But this week, especially during Wed. night service, it hit me and I realized what was wrong this whole time. This song came to my mind and I've been thinking about it ever since.

It's not easy being a Christian. What makes it even harder is realizing you can't and should not rely on other people for your experience, it has to be a personal walk with God. No friend or family or church member can make you a Christian, it has to be personal to you.

Being confused is not of God. He is not the author of confusion. I am believing that and keeping that in my thoughts.

This last quote I love so much: "It's ok folks, we're Christians!"

May you be blessed and wrapped in His love.